Cheney’s Shooting

February 12, 2006

Yesterday, Dick Cheney went to a gentleman’s hunting ranch in southern Texas for a bit of sport and male-bonding. While there, he spied a bird he wanted to kill, took aim and pulled the trigger on his shotgun.

Blam!  Then, ”Oh shit.”

A credible witness said Cheney shot a fellow millionaire and subsequent news reports say the victim was a friend but as the saying goes, “With friends like these…”   Not that it wouldn’t be a positive thing to shoot some attorneys, or maybe most of them, but the shooting was thankfully and allegedly an "accident" and Cheney's victim is okay.

This incident might be embarrassing for poor Cheney, after all he shot a "friend" and a millionaire too! A double whammy, as it were. Unlikely though, because he is never embarrassed about his lies to start a war in Iraq so why should he be concerned about this?

Frankly, there are too many unresolved questions. What could have happened to have caused the shooting?  Was it really about the too small donation to the Republican Party from his "friend" or did the bird deserve to die because it had "bird flu". Where were Cheney's security folks? Why didn't they stop the assault by taking Cheney down to insure both the attorney and bird would survive uninjured?  Maybe it was about a donation; it's always about money.

More likely there was pace maker malfunction undoubtedly triggered by terrorists hell bent on starting a war between attorneys and politicians, thereby bringing down American civilization as we know it. However, after serious reflection, that hypothesis is preposterous because many attorneys are politicians. And those who can't win an election, know people who have and buy them with bribes or as Congress calls them donations. Our civilization, though corrupt seems to be limping along just fine.

However, true to their character, Congress will probably start another set of hearings about this incident to again divert attention from their bribery, general dishonesty, the Iraq War and the way the country is heading toward financial ruin. Seriously though, this too is unlikely. They would rather go hunting with Cheney and take their chances, rather than being honest. 

Now, did the bird or the attorney have the flu?